


Never Enough

by movieaddictdoctor



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Depictions of death but time loops, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Lighter take on the characters where everyone is friends, Minor Suicidal Thoughts, One Shot, Set right before CATWS, Time Loop, so no one actually stays dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 23:04:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20182204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/movieaddictdoctor/pseuds/movieaddictdoctor
Summary: What's supposed to be a quiet day on the Triskelion turns into a complicated one for Natasha, and so far, there are two things she knows: 1. No matter what she does, Maria dies at 7.30pm, and 2. She's the only one aware of the time loop.





	Never Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Set just before the events of CATWS, with all the characters as established friends.

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better than yours/I can teach you, but I have to charge_

Alarm echoes across the room, startling Natasha from her sleep. She blindly reaches for the angry phone with one hand, knocking out her empty water glass in the process, and manages to turn it off without looking. She snuggles further into her pillow, more accurately pillows, and tries t go back to sleep.

It is just too damn early to wake up.

Unfortunately for her, someone else has other ideas, and her door opens with a swing. 

“Rise and shine!..” Sharon starts to say but notices how Natasha is not moving. “Come on, you promised me we’d go running today!” 

Natasha pretends not to hear those words. She’s a super spy after all, she can manage a little pretending. She can feel the light brown eyes as if they’re piercing through her blanket. For a moment Sharon is quiet, then there are soft footsteps as she moves closer to Nat’s bed, towering over it. 

Natasha can feel Sharon is planning something, can sense that she has something in her hand. “Don’t you dare.”

“I knew you were awake.” Sharon smiles and takes a sip of her glass of water. She wouldn’t hesitate to pour it on Natasha’s head, she knew Natasha was only pretending, since she’s not foolish enough to do that to an actually sleeping Avenger.

“Fine.” Natasha gives up the pretense and rolls on to her back, looking up at her friend. “How are you so perky?” She asks after noticing Sharon is already in tights and a sleeveless camisole, her usual running clothes. “I’m supposed to be the one with the fast metabolism.” That is a nod to the duo’s activities on the previous night, an intense night of drinking and clubbing, a send off for Sharon before she has to go undercover.

“It’s the adrenaline.” Sharon shrugs. There’s also a fresh pot of coffee involved, but she already finished it, and Natasha would end her if she knew. Using last of the coffee grounds are considered a serious offence. “Come on, get ready. You have five minutes.”

Sharon leaves the room to let Natasha get ready, and within five minutes, they’re out the door. Natasha is wearing a black hoodie with black tights, borrowed from Sharon’s closet since her apartment is at the other end of town. 

They stretch in front of Sharon’s apartment building, using a nearby fire hydrant, then start jogging. After twenty minutes, they make a detour from Sharon’s usual route, to get coffee, and Natasha’s annoyment goes away after just one sip.

“Ah, what am I going to do without you?” Natasha says after another sip as they walk away from the coffee stand.

“Miss me terribly.” Sharon offers, also taking a sip of her latte.

“I was talking about the coffee.” Natasha replies with a smile, causing Sharon to laugh.

“Jerk.” Sharon shakes her head.

“Fine, I was talking about you.” They start walking through the small park, which is just starting to get crowded with people going on runs or walking their dogs before work. “I don’t really have to that many friends if you haven’t noticed.”

“Bullshit.” Sharon replies, surprising Natasha with those words. “You have the Barton, Rogers, Banner… What you need is something else.”

“Like what?” Natasha laughs a little at that. She’s not sure if those people, other than Barton, actually trusts her. 

“You know, someone to call your partner.” Sharon offers.

“I don’t need a partner.” Natasha replies, even though she knows where Sharon is going. “I work alone.”

“Not that kinda partner.” Sharon replies, ignoring Natasha’s attempt at a diversion.

“How did we come to my love life?” Natasha replies. “We were talking about you.”

“Mine is going to be on hold indefinitely.” Sharon shrugs. “Can’t really date someone when I’m under cover. So there’s nothing to talk about. You on the other hand...”

“I don’t really have people lining up to be with me Sharon. When they do, it usually has to do with their Black Widow fantasies.” Natasha replies a little bitterly. “And it’s hard to find someone with shared life experience.”

“Then you’re not looking in the right place.” Sharon says as they reach the other end of the park, where her favourite breakfast stand is.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

There’s no line, and Sharon order’s two breakfast burritos for them before answering.

“I think you know.”

“No, no I don’t.” Natasha replies.

“Then maybe you’re not that good of a spy after all.” Sharon jokes, then notices Natasha’s raised eyebrows. “Okay okay, geez.”

-

They return to Sharon’s apartment after a short breakfast, and Natasha leaves with her car she’d parked two blocks away. They hug goodby, as it’s probably the last time they’ll see each other for a while, because when they do, they’ll have to pretend like they don’t know each other.

Natasha drives back to the Triskelion, rolling down the windows of her car. She likes the feel of wind on her face, helps wake her up. She’s used to sleeping late, but this time, she’s not sure if she slept at all.

When she reaches the base, the time is still early for most people, but she has a meeting with Director Fury. Guards on the bridge recognize her car and the barriers open before she has to stop. That’s not the procedure, but being an Avenger has its perks.

Fury is waiting for her in his room, joined by all the department heads. Meeting starts with her arrival. It’s routine, monthly, mostly talking about procedures and rules, that’s why it’s also _mostly boring_. But she’s a part of SHIELD, and a part of the Avengers, meaning this boring routine usually involves her.

If there’s one thing that makes the meeting at least a little more bearable, it’s Maria. They usually make eye contact from across the table, and Natasha knows Maria is as bored of these things as her. 

During one of those boring sessions, Natasha wanted to try her luck, and mimed passing out. There was that one little twitch on the corner of Maria’s mouth, and Natasha smiled with surprise: her silly little act had broke through _’the Ice Queen’_’s expression.

Thus began the game of who could make the other laugh, while still pretend to be paying attention.

That is why the first thing Natasha notices when she settles on her seat is this; Maria is not there. Fury doesn’t give an explanation as to why, he just starts the meeting. Deputy Director not being there is unusual to say the least, not because of any procedure, but because Maria cares about being involved in every part of her job. That’s what makes her an exceptional leader.

Natasha wouldn’t admit that to anyone, certainly not Maria, but she still thinks about all the reasons why Maria wouldn’t be here. Traffic? No, Maria leaves her apartment way too early to be caught in that. Medical emergency? She would know, they’ve been friends for a long time. It must be work related.

She finally notices another seat empty, one belonging to Jane Foster. Natasha suddenly feels annoyed, why would the two of them be gone at the same time? Are the two missings related? 

Jane and Darcy have been with SHIELD since the New York Incident. It was a hard process, with mistrust on all parts, but Jane finally accepted Fury’s long standing offer. There was of course a large textbook sized contract, signed in the presence of two different notaries, stating that Jane was the sole owner of every project she came up with.

And her feeling has nothing to do with the fact that Foster has a barely hidden interest on Maria.

Nothing at all.

-

After what feels like an eternity, Natasha is finally able to leave Fury’s room, and she decides to head straight for the building’s gym. She has a feeling Steve is already there. He’s turning into a real good sparring partner, and she can use a good workout to get her mind off of things.

She presses the elevator door and gets inside. Gym is at the twelfth level, so she presses the number and waits, until someone calls out.

“Hold the door, please!”

Natasha reaches the door instinctively, and the one person she wasn’t expecting enters.

“Oh Romanoff, good morning.” Maria says and presses on the fifth floor.

“Mornin’.” Natasha replies in her usual indifferent tone. “Didn’t see you in Fury’s office today.” she says nonchalantly. It’s not a question, just an observation.

“Yeah, I had to deal with R&D techs all morning.” Maria sighs. She looks tired, in her usual SHIELD uniform with her hair tied back, and she has a large file in her hand.

“Is there a problem?”

“I don’t know to be honest.” Maria laughs nervously. It’s not something she’d usually do, but they’re alone in the elevator. “A couple equipments are fried. We’ve been getting weird readings all morning.”

“Weird how?” Natasha asks curiously. Elevator reaches her stop, but she makes no move to step out.

“I’ll let you know when I do.” Maria replies. “Wasn’t this your floor?”

“Yeah.” Natasha stops the doors from closing with one hand. “Okay then, I’ll see you later?” Now that one is a question.

“Sure, find me after work.”

“Will do.” Doors closes after Natasha steps out. She heads straight for the lockers, her annoyment from before long gone.

-

Natasha thanks the cashier as she takes her lunch tray, and turns around to survey the mess hall. It’s just starting to get crowded, but she manages to spot Bruce eating next to the window with Steve. She walks towards them with a smile. It’s usually Steve and her staying in DC, with Bruce in NY. But he’s currently helping SHIELD with a classified project.

“Banner, Rogers...” Natasha places her tray on the table and settles between them on an empty chair. “What’re you guys gossiping about?”

“Natasha, hi.” Bruce smiles at her along with Steve. “We were just talking about you actually.”

“Oh, like how I mopped the floor with the one and only Captain America, just now?”

“Hey, you didn’t mop anything.” Steve counters immediately, but he’s clearly amused. “I slipped on a towel.”

“Same thing.” Natasha takes a sip from her straw, and they start to talk about everything.

Usually, she’s the one starting conversations with Steve, and she assumes it’s because he doesn’t fully trust her yet. It doesn’t matter, she can work with that. Today however, Steve talks freely, with Bruce and with her. Most likely reason is that Bruce is the more quiet one between them, and Steve wants to make him open up, just like she does Steve.

At one point in the conversation, halfway in to her bag of chips, she notices the hurried whispers in the distance. It’s Maria, arguing with Jane, and they both look worse for wear. Natasha tries to read their lips, but fails after a moment. What kind of word is ‘tachyon’ anyway? She must be out of practice.

Maria notices her, and nods in acknowledgement. Natasha replies, and jumps back into conversation with the boys as if she never zoned out.

“Don’t get into his head with old ass movies Banner.” Natasha says. “Greatest movie ever is Pitch Perfect.” She jokes, even the thought of Steve watching it makes her laugh.

-

She decides to wait until Maria is finished with her day. Not because of anything Sharon insinuated that morning, but because she promised Maria they’d meet up later that day. She says that to herself once again, because the counter point to that argument is just ridiculous.

She decides to kill the time by wandering around the Triskelion. There’s always something going on, and she gets a kick out of frightening new recruits. 

She spends a couple hours in the training floor, and when that finally gets boring, she decides to pay Bruce a visit. There’s something going on in the science department, and Bruce most likely knows.

“Hey big guy.” Natasha says as a greeting, leaning on the doorframe.

“You again, what brings you to this part of town?” Bruce says turning his face to her while sitting next to his working bench. 

“Just passing by.” Natasha replies casually. She walks towards Bruce’s working station, ghosting her hand over various cases and flasks. “Do you happen to know what Jane Foster is working on?”

“Is that on of your _‘just curious’_ type questions?” Bruce takes off his safety goggles and puts them on the table.

“You know me so well.” Natasha smiles and leans her back on the workbench, while Bruce is sitting opposite to her. Lights on the ceiling flicker, as well as all the electronics in the room, but it only lasts a couple seconds. “See, that’s what I’m talking about.” She points at the ceiling while Bruce glances up. “It’s been happening all day.”

“Sorry, Natasha, I don’t know.” Bruce shrugs. “Probably one of the departments is pulling too much energy.”

“This is supposed to be a cutting edge facility.” Natasha says. “At least according to Fury. I hardly think he’d allow that to happen.” 

Bruce doesn’t reply, and Natasha drops the subject. She knows how to spot anyone with relevant information, and work them as she pleases, but Bruce clearly doesn’t know anything. 

-

Maria texts her at 7.00 pm, to find out where she is. Natasha sends a quick reply to meet at the parking lot, and parts with Bruce. When she reaches the floor, Maria is waiting for next to her brand new Stingray. It’s a casual thing they do, ever since New York. Maria’s one of the rare people she trusts in life, and that’s the only reason she’s allowed in her Stingray.

Only reason.

Maria is leaning her back to a column, looking at the phone in her hand as if the device did something to anger her. She notices the footsteps coming closer, and looks up. Her face instantly changes to a less angry one, and Natasha ignores how that effects her heartbeat.

“You look like you were trying to burn a hole in your phone.” Natasha says and walks towards the driver’s seat.

“That would probably save me some pain.” Maria steps off the column and walks over to the car. She’s in her civilian clothes, black slacks with a white camisole, completed with a dark leather jacket. Her hair is down, barely reaching her shoulder.

“Wanna talk about it?” Natasha asks as she secures her seat belt.

“Oh please.” Maria replies. “But I need to eat first. Preferably greasy, unhealthy, and would shorten my lifespan so that I don’t have to come to work anymore.” 

“I know just the place.” Natasha smiles and starts the car, Maria is already tuning the car’s stereo.

“No.” Natasha tries to swat Maria’s hand away, while keeping her left hand on the driving wheel. “I swear to God, if I have to listen to another song by Pink I’m gonna lose it.”

“How dare you?” Maria starts the playlist, and _‘Just Like Fire’_ comes on.

Natasha continues her attack on the controls, but Maria swats her hand away.

It feels… nice. To be able to be comfortable next to someone, not having to keep your guard up all the time. Natasha can’t remember when that happened. When that change from coworkers, to friends, to close friends, happened. Probably because it happened over time, there was no tipping point that brought them to this moment. 

She keeps her eyes on the road, stealing a glance at Maria. Is she actually tapping a rhythm with her hand? Seeing that feels precious, because she knows she’s probably the only person to see it.

After the song finishes, Natasha reaches first. “It’s my turn.” She smiles. _Never Enough_ starts playing this time, and Maria smiles too.

“Okay, who hurt you?”

“What? I love this song.” Natasha smiles. “Oh, especially this part.” She joins in with Loren Allred as they reach the high parts.

They reach the burger house after two more songs, and Natasha parks on the first empty spot. Maria gets out first and goes to the parking meter, and Natasha waits for her next to her door.

It’s not like they talked about this, like who should pay, or anything… But Maria just goes and puts a couple coins in the meter, it ticks with each one, wind blows making Maria’s hair wave and Maria just huffs a breath to get it away from her eyes, she looks up and notices Natasha staring at her…

Maybe this is what Sharon was talking about. _A partner._ Natasha starts to entertain the thought. Is this what they would look like together? Because it looks nice. 

Streets lights flicker, causing Natasha to look up. 

Someone shouts.

“Oh watch out!”

A light bulb explodes, and the already unstable street light breaks away… Right on top of Maria.

Natasha runs, she screams, but she’s simply too far.

Time is 7.30 pm.

Maria is dead.

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better than yours/I can teach you, but I have to charge_

“No!” Natasha’s scream echoes around the small room.

Where’s she? Where’s Maria?

“Rise and shine! Hey...” Sharon opens the door with a swing. “Nat...” she says softly, after noticing how stressful her friend looks. She walks over to the dresser and turns off the alarm. 

Sharon knows Natasha has nightmares, she almost got stabbed when she approached Natasha right after one. This time she knows her lesson. “Are you okay? Can I get you anything?”

“I...” Natasha gulps, and her throat itches from dryness. She glances at the cup of water in Sharon’s hand, and Sharon offers it without a question. “I just had the weirdest dream.”

“Oh tell me about it.” Sharon jokes to lighten her friend’s mood. “I get those all the time. People say it happens when you don’t cover your ass while sleeping.”

“That’s just ridiculous.” Natasha’s heart rate returns to a more acceptable level, as does her breathing. She looks around the room, Sharon’s guest room, but she would bet anything that she’d already left here.

That dream felt so real.

“What’re you doing in my room?” Natasha says finally, staring at Sharon. “Wait, what am I doing in your house?”

“You didn’t want to go back to your place last night. And you promised me we’d go running today.” Sharon replies. She considers offering to stay in, but she knows that would only hurt Natasha’s pride. “Come on, get ready. You have five minutes.” she says instead.

Sharon leaves the room to let Natasha get ready, and it takes a moment for Natasha to center herself back to reality. She gets out of the bed and walks towards the small pile of clothes Sharon left for her last night. It’s a black hoodie with matching tights. She puts them on, and the clothes she’s never wore before feels oddly familiar.

The day is September 12.

Just like it was yesterday… _in her dream_.

They leave the apartment and start warming up in front of it. Natasha needs to clear her head, to shake of the feeling she has, so she starts running the moment she finishes stretching. Sharon is a close second, but only catches up to her when Natasha slows down near the coffee stand.

“Ah what are you going to do without me?” Sharon says after a sip of her coffee.

Something about those words innerves Natasha. She’s heard them before.

“I think I’ll manage.”

“Oh I’m sure about that.” They start walking through the small park. “But managing is not living.”

“What’s that from? One of those teenage action movies?” Natasha jokes.

“Jerk.” Sharon replies, surprising Natasha with those words. “You need to stop going along with life and start taking chances. Make new friends, or make your old ones something new.”

“Like what?”

“You know, someone to call your partner.”

“Didn’t we have this conversation before? I don’t need a partner.” Natasha replies, even though she knows where Sharon is going. “I work alone.”

“Not that kinda partner.” Sharon replies, ignoring Natasha’s attempt at a diversion.

“How did we come to my love life?” Natasha replies. “We were talking about you.”

“Mine is going to be on hold indefinitely.” Sharon shrugs. “Can’t really date someone when I’m under cover. So there’s nothing to talk about. You on the other hand...”

Natasha feels like she heard that reply before, but she still feels like answering.

“I don’t really have people lining up to be with me Sharon. When they do, it usually has to do with their Black Widow fantasies.” Natasha replies a little bitterly. “And it’s hard to find someone with shared life experience.”

“Then you’re not looking in the right place.” Sharon says as they reach the other end of the park, where her favourite breakfast stand is.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Natasha feels like she knows the answer to that one.

There’s no line, and Sharon order’s two breakfast burritos for them before answering.

“I think you know.”

-

She goes to the Triskelion, goes to the meeting, and two seats are missing; Maria and Jane. Oddly, she is not surprised. Why is she not surprised?

Meeting drags on as usual, she’s bored as usual, and she decides to go to the gym, _as usual_.

After the meeting, she walks to the elevators and calls one. When she steps inside, she has a strong feeling of keeping the door open. And a second later, someone shouts.

“Hold the door, please!” Maria steps inside. “Oh Romanoff, good morning.” Maria says and presses on the fifth floor.

They talk, make arrangements to meet after work.

Natasha has the world’s strangest feeling of dejavu.

-

She walks into the gym, and sure enough Steve is there, wrapping his hands next to the boxing bag.

“Were you just about to waste another perfectly good boxing bag?” Natasha asks as she walks inside.

Steve looks up towards her. “It’s not usually intentional.”

“_‘Usually’_ being the word of choice.” Natasha replies. “Are you up for a little sparring session?” she asks casually. She’s been feeling weird all morning, and she could use a good workout to clear her mind. The run felt good, but she still feels weird.

“Sure.” Steve replies, and Natasha turns to the lockers to change.

-

Lunch time rolls around, and she spots Bruce and Steve. She would bet everything that they were sitting there yesterday. 

She shakes the feeling away, dejavu is supposed be a good thing. A sign that her skills are advanced so much that she can predict possible outcomes based on little clues.

That’s what she hopes.

Still, she’s a little distracted during lunch. In the distance, Maria and Jane are whispering hurriedly.

What kind of word is ‘tachyon’ anyway?

-

There’s still time until Maria’s work is over, and Natasha decides to kill the time by wandering around the Triskelion. Frightening new recruits… wait, that doesn’t have the same appeal anymore. Neither does finding Bruce.

She stands on the R&D floor, not sure on what to do. 

She can’t wait for this day to be over.

Finally, Natasha notices the ‘Biochemistry and Genetics’ sign, and decides to pay someone else a visit. She walks towards the door, reaching her hand to the door handle, but it swings open before she her.

“I will… Ah!” Darcy exclaims, clutching her chest with one hand. “You scared the bejesus out of me!”

“Sorry.” Natasha smiles and slightly leans her head inside. “Is Helen around?” 

“Yeah she’s in the back.” Darcy replies, Natasha says a little thanks and walks past her. “Go right ahead...” Darcy murmurs to herself, shaking her head.

“Oh do I see the Black Widow entering my lab?” Helen turns her head from the whiteboard she’s working on. “Must be my special day.”

“You know you can just say welcome.” Natasha smiles and they share a short hug as a greeting.

“Of course you’re welcome, that’s a given.” Helen smiles too. “Do you want a milkshake? Because Darcy is going out to get some for the floor.”

“I would love that.”

“Darcy! Can you...”

“Already on it!” Reply comes before Helen could continue. That’s not a surprise considering that Darcy was probably eavesdropping by the door.

-

“What do you know about dejavu?” Natasha asks after slurping on one of the milkshakes Darcy brought them. “I swear to god, I’ve been having it all day.”

“Hmm. I think it has to do with your past lives warning you about a danger.” Helen supposes, taking her own milkshake on the table. “That’s what Darcy says, usually.”

“Is that your most scientific assessment?”

“You can say that.” Helen smiles. “Truth be told, I don’t know if there’s any explanation based on research.” she says and takes a sip. “But I can take a look if you want.” 

“I’d appreciate it.”

-

Natasha starts walking towards the parking lot on instinct, and Maria’s text arrives as she passes the glass doors.

“Romanoff.” Maria glances up from her phone as Natasha walks towards the car. “What did you do, fly here? I just texted you.”

“Ah...” Natasha is confused as to why she’s there before getting the text too. But she shrugs it off without thinking about it. “I guess I’m just that good.”

“Oh I know.”

They settle in the car, and Natasha pulls away from her parking lot. _Just Like Fire_ starts playing on the radio, but Natasha doesn’t pay that much attention.

“What? You’re not going to bash my music taste?” Maria asks, surprised. Natasha usually makes fun of her for her love of pop music, even though she has a secret love of it herself.

“I’ll let your own music do the bashing.”

“Okay, rude.” Maria replies but she’s almost laughing. “Where are we going by the way? Because I need something to eat. Preferably greasy, unhealthy, and would shorten my lifespan so that I don’t have to come to work anymore.”

Words are familiar, they echo in Natasha’s ears for a while. 

“Natasha?” Maria asks. “Did you hear what I just said?”

“Yeah.” Natasha nods, tries the shake away the feeling, keeping both her hands on the steering wheel. “I got it, greasy, unhealthy… I know just the place.”

“Are you okay?” Maria asks again. “You seem a little off.”

“I don’t think I got enough sleep last night.” Natasha shrugs it of.

“Long night?” Maria guesses.

“Something like that. I had to stay at Sharon’s place.” With a glance to the passenger seat, Natasha notices the questioning look on Maria’s face, and feels like she needs to explain more. “It was too late to go back to mine.” she says. “I slept in the guest room.”

“I didn’t ask.” Maria replies, but she smiles looking through her side window. 

They reach the burger house by the ocean, it's a small place built as a balcony over the water. There’s an empty parking spot next to the street curve, but something tells her not to park there. Natasha stops the car in front of the vale and gives him the keys.

They walk towards an empty table by the railings, after stepping on the balcony.

That’s when it happens, lights around them flicker.

Someone in the distance shouts.

A cement truck loses control and drives into the restaurant.

There’s not enough time.

Balcony collapses.

Time is 7.30 pm.

Ocean water burns her lungs, she tries to open her eyes...

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better than yours/I can teach you, but I have to charge_

Natasha jolts awake, still feeling the ocean water covering all around her. 

But she’s not in the ocean, or in the restaurant. She’s in Sharon’s apartment, _again_.

“Rise and shine!..” Sharon starts to say but Natasha gets up from the bed and walks over to her, grabbing her biceps.

“What day is this?” Natasha asks frantically.

“September 12.” Sharon replies, surprised. “Are you alright? Come on, you promised me we’d go running today.”

“12 was yesterday.” Natasha is still brimming with shock. “Yesterday. Today is supposed to be the 13th.”

“No, I think you can’t your phone settings are off or something.” Sharon replies.

“This can’t be happening.” Natasha drops her hands and turns around. How is she with Sharon? She was just with Maria, walking to their seating. She walks towards the pile of clothes Sharon’s left for her and starts getting dressed. “This can’t be happening.” she murmurs to herself as she pulls the black hoodie over her head.

“And what is happening exactly?”

“I died.” Natasha looks up finally. ”Maria…That truck... We fell into the ocean. Then that was that street light… Maria died.”

“Natasha...” Sharon says, trying to put as much understanding in her voice as she can. “I think you had another nightmare...” 

“No!” Natasha shouts, almost regretting her tone. “It wasn’t… I would know. No. Something is going on, I have to go to the base, I have to find Maria...” She walks back towards the door where Sharon is still standing.

“Wait!” Sharon grabs her jacket by the door and follows Natasha out. “I’m coming with you.”

They get into the Stingray, and Natasha starts driving without much care for rules, using the lack of traffic due to the early morning in her advantage. Sharon grabs onto her side door with one hand, to her seat on the other. She knows Natasha is an experienced driver, but right now, something is going on with her friend, and she’s not willing to bet what and speak out.

They pass the Triskelion bridge just as the barriers roll down, skirting at the top. Natasha stops the car in front of the entrance, without bothering to park. Two guards walk towards them, but they step back after Sharon shows them her ID badge.

“Natasha!” Sharon runs after her as Natasha tries the elevator button once. “Wait up!” But Natasha doesn’t have the patience to wait right now, and she turns to the fire escape instead and starts running upstairs. “Shit!”

Natasha needs to find Maria, needs to see that she’s alive too. 

Doors to Jane Foster’s lab open with a swing, startling Maria away from the computer screen she was hunched over, next to Jane in her seat.

“Oh thank god!” Natasha runs over to Maria. “You’re alive.” 

“Yeah...” Maria says, confusion apparent on her face.

“What’s going on?” Jane asks with confusion apparent on her face.

“Listen Maria, something is wrong. We have to get out of here.” Natasha says frantically. “Right now, come on.”

Sharon finally reaches the lab; to find Maria, Jane and Darcy watching Natasha with worried expressions.

“This is supposed to be September 13, not 12.” Natasha says, she’s too focused on Maria to notice Darcy slowly moving towards Jane’s desk. “And you died, I saw you die. Twice.”

“Natasha, you’re not making any sense.” Maria says softly, and grabs Natasha’s shoulders to give her a physical point of contact, and calm her down. “You see, I’m right here.”

“But you won’t be!” Natasha’s tone is louder now. “I’m telling you something is wrong. You know me. You have to believe me!”

Maria doesn’t know what to say, and she doesn’t get the chance.

“Ah…” Natasha exhales. There’s a piercing pain on her arm. She manages to turn around, to see Darcy holding an empty syringe. “Wha…” Maria catches her just as the sedative starts working.

“What the hell Lewis!” Maria holds Natasha under her arms. Sharon runs over her to help her hold Natasha.

“I’m sorry!” Darcy drops the syringe as she holds her hands up in surrender. “She was scaring me!”

“Because she was scared herself!” Maria hooks Natasha’s right arm across her shoulders, and Sharon does the same on the left.

Jane steps closer to Darcy and puts a comforting hand on her shoulders. “Don’t get angry at Darcy.” Jane stares at Maria. “You saw how Romanoff was acting.”

Maria bites back her reply. She’s known to burst at people, especially when Natasha is involved. She turns to Sharon instead. “Let’s take her to Helen.”

-

First thing Natasha notices when she wakes up is how her head is killing her. It’s been a long time since that happened, she’s not used to getting headaches. Second thing is that she is lying on a soft mattress… She jolts up, there’s a prickling sensation on her arm, but that’s not important for now. What’s important is that she’s in a small quarantine room, with a large glass on the wall.

“Okay, which one of you assholes drugged me?” Natasha shouts, walking towards the dark window. “I know someone’s in there!” She shouts, pointing at the window.

There’s no response for a couple minutes, and Natasha contemplates throwing the bedframe to the window. It probably wouldn’t even scratch, but it would help with the tension in her body. 

Lights in the room, other side of the glass turns on, and Maria is standing there with a relieved expression. “Natasha…”

“Why am I in here?” Natasha asks staring at Maria through the window.

Maria sees the hurt in those eyes, as if piercing into hers. “I had nothing to do with this.” She needs Natasha to know that.

“Then who does?” Natasha steps towards the glass.

“You scared Darcy.”

“That little shit.” Natasha shakes her head. “She thored me.”

Maria almost smiles at that. “You can say that.” Maria says. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like someone knocked me out with 50 ccs of haloperidol.” Natasha crosses her arms.

“I’ll take that, I set you up for that one.” Maria replies. “You were out for a long time. I think your body had a bad reaction to the drug.”

“A long time… What?” Natasha asks. She focuses on the clock right behind Maria, but it can’t be right. “Maria you have to let me out of here, it’s about to happen again.”

Lights flicker on the ceiling, and the clock hits 7.29pm.

“You know I’m telling the truth!” Natasha beats on the window with her fist.

Maria looks at her with a confused expression. She makes her decision, and goes to the control pad to open Natasha’s door.

Time hits 7.30pm.

Controls malfunction, and thousands volts of electricity coulces through Maria.

“No!”

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better th..._

Natasha grabs her phone without looking and swings it across the room. The phone shatters on impact and the music distorts, but somehow still continues.

“Ahh!” Natasha screams into her pillow.

The date is September 12.

_Again._

~~~

Natasha is pretty sure she’s stuck in a time loop. It is clear after the third time she wakes up in Sharon’s apartment, in her borrowed pjs, and not the black tights and hoodie combo she had a moment ago.

That conclusion isn’t stemming from an actual scientific process. She’s not even sure there _is_ a scientific explanation for it.

SHIELD is no help. After the sedative incident, she doesn’t trust them to help her. Steve is barely adjusting to modern day life, so he’d be of little use to her. Bruce and Jane, well they’re the more reasonable people to talk when it comes to science, but she doesn’t trust Darcy not to knock her out again with a textbook.

So far, there are two things Natasha knows; however the day goes, Maria dies at 7.30pm, time loops and Natasha is the only one aware of it. She assumes that must mean one thing; she is somehow related to Maria’s death, and maybe, in order to stop it, she needs to stop Maria from dying.

And that’s what she starts to do.

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better th..._

‘Anyone who doesn’t put a sign on a slippery floor deserves serious punishment’ Is Natasha’s first thought as she hurtles her phone into the wall once again.

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better th..._

Who puts a gigantic restaurant sign without securing it properly? Natasha finds out the answer is Taco Bell, after said sign falls on Maria’s head.

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better th..._

How does a state of the art Quinjet gets defeated by a flock of birds?

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better th..._

Natasha curses the day she lost that bet to Sharon, and had to change her phone alarm. She also curses the amateur yacht owner that capsized their boat.

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better th..._

Natasha screams into her pillow. A drive through roof collapsed on her car, killing them both. If she ever gets out of this time loop, some corporate assholes are going to pay.

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better th..._

It was going great this time. Natasha had convinced Maria to leave early. They went to one of Natasha’s favourite restaurants, nowhere near the ocean, settled in, ordered, started eating… 

Then the clock hit 7.30, and the building exploded. 

Gas leak.

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better th..._

Fire hydrant. More like car hitting a fire hydrant and making it fly off, and land on Maria, _again_.

~~~

Nothing is working. 

Maybe she was wrong. Maybe it’s not about saving Maria. _Maybe_ the problem is _her_. 

She’s hurt so many people, and now the universe is paying back by hurting someone she lo… cares about. 

She should be the one dying. Not Maria. 

What if Natasha is the reason? What if some great unknown force doesn’t want her to get close to Maria? What if she can stop it by going away?

That’s what she finally does, she runs away. She sneaks out of Sharon’s apartment, and buys a plane ticket to the farthest location available. She burns all her contacts, phones, anything that would let SHIELD find her.

Natasha Romanoff knows how to leave without a trace, and that’s exactly what she does.

She’s on the air as the clock hits 7.29pm. She had to report in almost ten hours ago. SHIELD is definitely looking for by now. And Maria… Well, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Lights in the cabin flicker, plane starts to shake, pilot reaches their intercom…

Natasha looks through the small window, and notices how dark the clouds are for this time of day.

Lightning strikes.

Clock hits 7.30 pm…

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better th..._

Natasha bolts awake in the guest bed, and screams, again.

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better th..._

She tries every mode of transportation. Different airports, bus stations, train stations, different destinations, before finally giving up on running away.

If running away doesn’t work… maybe she needs a more permanent solution.

She leaves Sharon’s apartment, not really answering any of Sharon’s questions, and goes to find a place where she can think. In the end, that turns out to be the Lincoln Memorial.  
She stays there, standing, for a long time. People, tourists, families, pass all around her, but they’re all too busy with themselves to actually pay attention to her.

“How did you find me?” Natasha asks without taking her eyes off of the reflecting pool. Her hands are in the pockets of her black hoodie, probably the only thing keeping her tethered in the moment.

“You have your phone.” Maria steps in next to her, but also puts a little distance between them to make Natasha feel comfortable.

“Ah, you pinged it.” Natasha nods to herself. “Very devious.” 

“You were supposed to check in this morning.” Maria says as an explanation. “Sharon says you’ve been acting weird. She was worried about you.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Are you okay?” Maria asks, turning her head to Natasha. She starts to take a step towards Natasha, but Natasha steps back, avoiding eye contact.

“Don’t.” Natasha says and finally looks at Maria. Maria is wearing a long trench coat over her uniform, clearly a choice made in a hurry. “Don’t come close to me.”

“Why?” Maria asks, and there’s a twinge of hurt in that tone. She’d thought they were past this.

“You can’t stay close to me, I’m… I’m cursed. That’s what I am.” Natasha says, taking another step back, away from Maria. “I can’t change anything. I keep failing over and over again. And I keep losing you...”

“I don’t understand Natasha...” Maria replies softly, hurt replaced with something else. Natasha has a lost look in her eyes that makes Maria scared. She hasn’t seen that look on Natasha in a long long time, and something must be seriously wrong. “What’s going on?”

“What...” Natasha laughs bitterly, to shake away the building tears in her eyes. “What’s going on Maria, is that you keep dying, over and over and over again…” Maria is staring at her intently. “At 7.30 pm, every single time. I tried to stop it. Believe me I tried. But it doesn’t work. Nothing does. I push you out of the way of a car, but then another one comes. I convince you to take a ride with me, and a truck comes out of nowhere. Quinjet malfunctions, a gun misfires, and you die. _But I don’t._ I keep living the same day again and again. And I always fail.” Natasha takes a deep breath. “So maybe the problem is with me. Maybe I need to stop. Take myself out of this equation, and then the universe can finally go back to where it was.”

“Natasha...” This is a lot of information for Maria. But she doesn’t doubt Natasha, not when she’s looking at her with an expression she’s never seen before. “Listen, I don’t think this has anything to do with the universe.” she says slowly. “I believe in science.”

Natasha huffs at that, her darker side knew Maria wouldn’t believe her.

“And I believe you.” Maria adds after noticing Natasha is a step away from running.

“What?” Those words surprises Natasha. This is the first time since she got stuck in this day that someone said it. “You believe me?”

“Yes.” Maria takes a step towards Natasha, and this time, Natasha doesn’t step back. “And as I said, I believe in science.” she adds. “Jane’s lab has been getting unusual readings all week, and they’ve been intensifying since this morning. We’re trying to triangulate where it’s coming from, but Jane thinks it has something to do with tachyon particles.”

“What the hell are those anyway?” Natasha never bothered to look that one up.

“Subatomic particles that travel faster than the speed of light.” Maria explains. “Theoretically, they can effect how we perceive time. Or alter it.”

“Are you saying...” Natasha fills with hope for the first time. She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.

“I don’t think the universe is messing with you.” Maria gives a comforting smile, then glances at the watch on her wrist. It’s 2.45, and according to Natasha’s story, they have less than 5 hours. “Come on, we‘ve to go back to Triskellion.”

“Okay.” Natasha nods. “Okay.” She follows Maria to Maria’s black motorcycle. “Just so you know, if Darcy tries to stabs me with sedatives again, I’m going to knock her out.” 

“Did that really happen?” Maria asks as she settles on the bike. Two helmets are swinging from the controls. She gives one to Natasha, then grabs the other herself.

“I can neither confirm or deny that.” Natasha secures her own helmet, then settles behind Maria.

Maria laughs at that. “How did you even let it?”

“She caught me off guard.” Natasha gives in. 

“Didn’t know that could happen.” Maria says, but Natasha doesn’t reply. She wraps her arms across Maria’s waist, not leaving too much space between them. 

Maria gulps at that. Natasha usually doesn’t hold onto her like that, and she can’t bring herself to admit that she likes the change. She starts the bike and drives away. 

-

“So you think you are in a time loop.” Jane says as if to ask them to confirm it.

“I _know_ I’m in a time loop.” Natasha replies bitterly. She’s standing in Jane’s lab, next to Maria, just finished with explaining what’s been happening to her. “Look, I know you have a stash of Haldol hidden somewhere and if you don’t believe me…”

“I didn’t say that.” Jane replies and gets up from her seat. She walks over to a large display. “My sensors picked up this reading ten minutes ago.” She shows them a complex graphic. “I couldn’t make sense of it before, but if what you’re saying is true...”

“Wait, you believe me too?” Natasha asks, surprised. “You quarantined me when I came here in the morning.”

“But I didn’t have this particular reading in the morning.” Jane turns to look at Natasha. “And I believe for something to happen in the way you want, you have to act in _exactly_ the right time, _exactly_ the right place, _exactly_ with right people...”

“I see.”

“Can you narrow the search field?” Maria asks, already in action mode. “According to what she’s said?”

“I think so, yes.” Jane starts typing away on her keyboard. “Whatever is causing this is stopping linear time from going forward. We have to know if it only affects a small area like Washington DC, or a larger scale.” She stops typing for a moment and turns back to Natasha, swivelling her chair. “Did you ever try to go outside of DC? In one of your time loops?”

“I...” Maria is watching her curiously. “I did. Furthest I’d been able to go was Istanbul. But it didn’t matter. I still woke up back in my room when the clock hit 7.30.”

“Then it must be affecting you regardless of the distance.” Jane turns back to her computer. “Hmm. Six to seven thirty gives us a time period of thirteen and a half hours, which is eight hundred and ten minutes and that is forty-eight thousand six hundred seconds give or take a few...” Jane goes on, not really talking to Natasha or Maria anymore.

“Oh, I think this is gonna take a while.” Maria turns to Natasha and gives her a comforting smile. “Why don’t we go sit down?”

“Yeah...” 

They walk towards the couch, one Jane got for long nights and naps, and settle down with a small distance between them.

“Maria.” Natasha’s mood from before makes an appearance.

“Yes.” Maria encourages her to continue.

“What if… What if this doesn’t work?” Natasha asks staring at her hands in her lap. “We have less than four hours now. What it’s not enough? ”

“Natasha.” Maria reaches for Natasha’s hand and holds it, causing Natasha to finally look at her. “Don’t think like that.” 

“It’s a little hard not to.” Natasha laughs nervously.

“Don’t give up. No matter what happens.” Maria says looking at her in the eyes. “I mean it. Promise me that you won’t give up. And that you’ll find me, if we fail this once.”

“You won’t remember anything.” Natasha replies, the thought is enough to make her sound hurt.

“Doesn’t matter.” Maria gives her a small smile. “I’ll believe you. I always do.”

“Okay.” Natasha slowly nods after a moment. “I’ll find you.”

“Good.” Maria squeezes Natasha’s hand one more time, and to her surprize, Natasha moves closer to her on the couch, and leans her head on her shoulder.

“I’m so tired.” Natasha’s words are almost too low to hear.

“Rest.” Maria leans her head on top of Natasha’s. “I’ll wake you when we find something.”

“I don’t want to close my eyes.” Natasha replies.

“I’m right here.”

-

“Aha!” Jane jumps in her seat, causing Natasha and Maria to startle from their short nap.

“Do you have something?” Maria gets up from her seat and glances at the clock. It’s only been half an hour.

“Oh yes.” Natasha is next to them now, watching them intently. “I borrowed one of Stark’s satellites and ran a recognition software to match with the readings from today...”

“Jane, sorry to say this but I don’t really need to know how you did it.” Natasha says touching her neck. “I just need a location to hit.”

“Sorry. And yes. I have a location.” Jane types something and the printer starts. She gets up from her seat and retrieves the paper. “This is where the readings are the highest...” Maria reaches for the paper and glances over it with Natasha.

“It’s gonna be tight.” Maria says. The place is at least an hour away on the Quinjet. “I’m calling in the strike team.” she says already reaching her phone.

“I’m coming too.” Natasha follows her as they walk out of Jane’s lab.

“_Thank you Jane, we could’ve done it without you Jane._” Jane murmurs to herself while going back to work. 

\- 

They meet the strike team on the Helipad, and Steve is also there in his Captain America uniform.

“Director Hill. Romanoff.” Steve nods as a greeting.

“Glad you could join us Captain.” Maria nods and they walk inside the Quinjet.

There’s no time to do a proper mission briefing, so it has to be done in the air. Maria stands next to a large display on the Helicarrier, and starts talking to the agents secured in their chairs, along with Natasha and Steve.

“Satellite image overlayed with our thermoscans show 30 hostiles in the area.” Maria points at the image behind her. “Building is located in the middle of the Amazon forest, and it is the only man made structure in the vicinity. We don’t have much to go on except this three-d model prediction.” She glances at each of them, to made sure they understand the severity of the situation. “Which means, there’s a great chance that whatever approach we plan here, we’ll have to adapt it to what’s waiting for us.”

“Isn’t that how it always goes?” Steve smiles to himself. That’s usually his experience with missions.

-

They reach the compound, only to be met by immediate resistance. They pass the gates, with Steve going in first, and right behind him is the strike team divided into two groups. Maria has convinced Natasha to go in after them, because they’re probably the only two there that can deal with the device they’re looking for.

“You guys go to the control room!” Steve shouts, using his shield to cover them from the gunfire. “I’ll draw the fire.”

It’s dangerous. Natasha stares at him for a moment then nods.

“Okay.” Maria nods on the other side from Natasha. 

“On my count.” Steve says. “Three… two… one.” He swings his shield towards a group of guards, knocking two of them out. This gets the attention of rest of the guards, and allows Natasha and Maria to follow one half of the strike team inside the building.

Team moves before them, clearing the corridors. Natasha and Maria takes care of the strays, and they manage to reach a large double door at the end of a corridor. Two agents grab the handles, and after a short count, open the doors.

There’s gunfire everywhere, and it takes them longer then expected to clear the room. When they do, Natasha runs towards the podium with computers, while Maria follows her.

“Okay, now how do I turn this thing off?..” Natasha murmures to herself as she goes to work on the controls. It’s almost time for the reset.

Maria stands next to her, keeping guard as gunshots are still going on nearby. She notices an unusual the fallen guards’ shoulders, and it reminds Maria of an octopus. When they’ve secured the entire base, she’ll get a better look and do everything to find out who they are.

Natasha types too fast for Maria to follow, so she turns towards the room instead. There’s a large platform in the middle of the room, with an electrical ball on top of it. Natasha finishes her last line, and the electrical ball stars to die down. 

Dead bodies of guards are sprayed around the large room…

Maybe not so dead.

A gunshot echoes in the room, too loud to be coming from outside. Natasha looks up, and sees Maria clutching her chest. With an instant she runs to catch her, while reaching for her gun. The shooter draws his last breath, but Natasha shoots him anyways.

“Maria!” Natasha holds her, and lowers to her knees. She reaches a hand on top of Maria’s in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “No. Not again. No, please...” 

“Nat...” Maria gulps. She’s suddenly feeling very thirsty. Pain is gone. That’s not a good sign. 

“You’re not wearing a vest.” Natasha says. “Why are you not wearing your vest?” That’s not really a question, more like a curse.

“Not… enough time.” Maria manages to say. After she found Natasha at the reflecting pool, and saw how tired she was, all she wanted to do was fix it. “Finish the... mission.” 

“Just hang on...” A tear drops on the floor. “I... can’t lose you again. Maria, I can’t...”

Maria’s left hand reaches her cheek. “You’re strong.” Maria says. “You’ll manage.”

_’Managing is not living.’_

“I’m sorry.” Natasha says as Maria draws her last breath. “I’m so sorry...”

Time is 7.28pm.

But one thing is different. She stopped the machine, which means, Maria is not coming back from this one.

That’s not something Natasha can handle. She gently lowers Maria’s body from her lap to the ground, and runs to the controls again.

“I can _manage_ one last time.” Machine comes back to life. “Yes...” 

Time is 7.30pm. The electrical ball hovering on the platform starts to overload, and a bright light covers the room, blinding Natasha. Then the electrical ball starts to enlarge, and explodes, impact throws her to the ground…

~~~

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like, it's better than yours/Damn right it's better than yours/I can teach you, but I have to charge_

Natasha jolts awake on the bed. “Yes!”

She’s in the guest room again.

The door opens with a swing and Sharon steps inside. “Rise and sh… oh you’re up.”

“Oh Sharon!” Natasha jumps to hug her, surprising Sharon in the process. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you.”

“Didn’t know you were a morning person.” Sharon smiles.

“Don’t get used to it.” Natasha lands a kiss on Sharon’s cheek, surprising her even more. 

“Okay something is definitely wrong.” Sharon says after Natasha goes to the pile of clothes and starts to get dressed. “If you’re doing this to get out of running, it’s not going to work.” 

“You know what?” Natasha says. “Let’s go.” She pulls the black hoodie over her head. “I have time.”

-

“Ah what are you going to do without me?” Sharon says after a sip of her coffee.

“I...” Natasha smiles to herself. Her usual answer is at the tip of her tongue, but something is different. She knows what she’s been doing for a long time, but that no longer feels appealing to her. “Huh.” she says. “I think I’m going to miss you.” 

“Aww.” Sharon smiles too. “You’re not really this nice to me.” she says. “Should I not get used to this one too?”

“Exactly.” Natasha replies and glances at her watch. “Ah, I have to go meet with someone.” 

“Okay.” They hug goodby. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’re ditching me in the middle of running.” 

“I think I ran enough to last me a while.”

-

Natasha goes to Steve’s apartment and knocks on the door. He opens after a moment, in a sweatshirt and a tight t shirt. Why does he wear those all the time anyways? 

“Romanoff.” Steve says trying to wipe the sleep off his eyes. “What do I owe the pleasure?”

“I need you help.” Natasha replies.

“Good morning to you too.”

“Suit up Captain.” Natasha says. “Don’t forget your shield.” He’s still standing there with a confused expression, and she feels the need to add. “We have one more stop.”

-

Convincing the _’big guy’_ takes a little more work, but he finally accepts.

-

It’s not technically stealing if you’re planning to bring it back. But that doesn’t stop the SHIELD agent on the helipad to report them after the Quinjet takes off. He was pretty intimidated at seeing three Avengers together, but his training won in the end.

-

She’s probably never going to get used to seeing Bruce turn into the Hulk, but it doesn’t matter now. It goes a lot better with the Hulk on their side, because a giant green monster crashing through the gates tends to draw all the attention.

She knows where to go this time, what to look out for, where most guards are. Steve follows after her to the control room, and the two of them make quick work of the guards there.

Natasha goes for the computers the moment last guard drops on the floor.

“What the hell is that?” Steve asks, pointing at the ball of electricity hovering on a large platform, breathing heavily. Natasha briefed them on the base and what to expect, but all he knows is that they’re going after a rogue science division.

“That thing?” Natasha glances at it once then continues. “I’m not really sure.”

“And… this room...” Steve looks around. “Those emblems...” Something about this place feels familiar.

“I don’t know Rogers.” Natasha says. “I’ve only been here once.”

“You’ve been here before?” Steve turns to her.

“Doesn't matter.” Natasha finishes her work on the controls. She presses the final button, and the device powers down. “Now, where did you put that C4 I gave you?”

-

They watch the base explode from the Quinjet, and return to the Triskelion. Natasha doesn’t feel particularly eager to explain how she found a rogue base, and Steve and Bruce aren’t exactly chatty either. Something about that base is bothering Steve, and Bruce… well, he’s not known for his chattiness, especially not when he returns from the Hulk back to his usual self.

She lands the Quinjet on the Helipad, then turns on her phone. She has too many angry texts from Maria, and that makes her wince. They get out of the Quinjet, met by a group of agents waiting for them.

“Captain.” One of them says. “I’m afraid you have to come with us.”

-

Natasha takes all responsibility of what happened, but she doesn’t explain any details. It’s not like there is more to explain. Whatever that device was, it’s in pieces now. That probably wasn’t the smartest decision, but she saw Maria die enough time to care about the consequences. 

-

“Hey Rogers.” Natasha says, finding Steve staring out the window after the briefing with Director Fury, standing in the empty corner, changed into his civilian clothes. 

“Romanoff.” Steve glances at her and nods as a greeting. He’s still thinking about the base they raided, and how the guards had a symbol on their uniforms. A symbol he’s very familiar with. But seeing it now doesn't make sense, people that used that symbol are long gone.

“Thank you for your help today.” Natasha stands next to him.

“Don’t mention it.”

“Are you okay? You’re looking a little broody.” Natasha says. “I mean it’s your normal look but still...”

“At the base, I don’t know...” Steve takes deep breath. “It felt familiar. The layout, the tech… I’m probably just seeing things.” He shakes his head.

“I don’t think so.” Natasha replies, causing Steve to turn his head to her. “You’re one of the most intuitive people I know. If you say there is something, there probably is.” She starts to leave after giving Steve’s arm a supporting squeeze.

“Wait.” Steve turns around as Natasha was walking away. “I… I waited for too long before going after the things I wanted.” He looks at her in the eyes. “You still can.” 

Natasha glances at the watch on her wrist. Time is 7.31pm, and it’s still moving forward. 

She smiles.

“Where do you think I’m going?”

-

Natasha knocks on the door of the brown house, then takes a step back. First, it opens just a crack, then closes to unlock the chain, and opens again. Maria is standing on the ledge, wearing her dark blue sweatpants, and a Cambridge t shirt stolen from Sharon’s closet.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” Natasha says standing on the second step, close enough for privacy, but not close enough.

“Like how you stole a Quinjet and convinced _three_ Avengers to go on an _unauthorized_ field mission?” Maria crosses her arms, and Natasha knows she’s on the receiving end of Maria’s signature glare, which is normally directed at agents who fail her.

“Not exactly that per se...” Natasha replies. “I… I’ve been thinking a lot about us lately.” 

“Okay...” Maria watches her curiously. She doesn’t have any idea where this conversation is going.

“We’re friends, right? I mean I know we’re friends, that’s not what I’m really asking but...” Natasha is dangerously close on rambling territory. “I feel like there’s something more, between us I mean. Because I can’t stop thinking about you, I also don’t want to make it weird by saying anything but… I love it when you play with my radio. There I said it!” she shakes her hands, causing Maria to smile. “And… love it when you smile at me across the room, any room, and...” 

As Natasha goes on, Maria uncrosses her arms and takes a step outside. “Natasha.” she says, causing Natasha to turn to her.

“Yes?”

“Shut up.” Maria says and takes another step on her stairs. She’s right in front of Natasha now. She puts a curved finger under Natasha’s chin and lifts her head up. With a swift move she reaches her head down, and lands a soft kiss on Natasha’s lips.

It’s short, and doesn’t go past anything else than a brush, but it’s a conformation that they’re on the same page.

Maria leans back a little, and Natasha’s eyes flutter open. She’s not usually this effected by a kiss, let alone a small one, but with Maria, it’s different. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to ramble on my doorstep.” Maria smiles, her face only a breath away from Natasha’s.

Natasha smiles too. Then, she reaches for Maria’s t shirt, and pulls her closer one more time.

This time Natasha stands on the tip of her toes, capturing Maria’s lips with a little more force behind it than before. Maria puts a hand on her chest after a moment to break the kiss, and leans her head back.

“Don’t think this is going to let you off the hook.” Maria says. “And as much as I’d love to continue this, I think my neighbours got enough show for one night.”

“Oh I can come in.” Natasha offers then quickly adds. “If… I mean if that’s something you’d want. Or I can go. ”

Maria walks back to her door as Natasha stays rooted on the spot.

“Well, what’re you waiting for?” Maria stands next to her door. “Come on in.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh hi! I have no idea if this was any good, it's also the first time I tried writing in present tense, so I'd appreciate any critism you might have. I have a more dorkier and comedic take on these charecters, so tell me if it works! Also, trying to kill off the Deputy Director of SHIELD was harder than I expected, but most of those accidents are real. I mean a fire hydrant did land on someone. Weird, right?


End file.
